Dwayne – Well, when I saw Dwayne. He seemed nice, goodlooking, long dreads. So what the heck, I emailed him. He instantly emails me back and we began to correspond. He tells me he is from Antigua and that he studies Rastafarianism. GREAT! Did I strike it good the first go around?

After a few emails back and forth we exchange telephone numbers. He calls me out of the blue one day. We talk for a while and instantly he tells me that he has custody of his 2 daughters. Both are young, like 6 and 8. I’m cool with that. Theres nothing nicer than a single dad who is raising his daughters.

So we began to talk maybe every other day on the phone. During this time I was looking for a date to go on a sailing trip I had planned the week before. Ok, so what better way to start a date? On Wednesday, I asked Dwayne if he would like to accompany me on Sunday on this sailing trip. I had never been sailing before, we would have the opportunity to talk and get to know each other better. He was excited and flattered that I asked him. I told him that the trip would cost $30 plus we would also need to pay for our meals b/c the trip would take us to a little restaurant that sits on the water. Everything was cool. On Saturday he calls me and tells me that he could not get a babysitter for Sunday and that the cost was going to be a problem. It was getting close to school time and he needed to take his girls shopping. I was disappointed but I understood….we all have priorities. After that we talked a few more times on the phone. I asked him oneday how come he hasn’t asked me out. Mind you we have never met face to face but was talking on the phone almost daily. Something seemed wrong. I wasn’t going to try and figure it out though. I just started to move on. He explained to me that he didn’t have a car and that he wasn’t comfortable asking me over to his house because he didn’t wanted to bring anyone around his girls. I was cool with that, we talked a few more times over the phone and then oneday it all just stopped. Oneday I went back on the dating site to look at Dwaynes profile. It said he was an avid smoker. Ugghhh! I don’t like it when people smoke. In fact, I hate smokers. How could I have missed that? All in all I am glad that we never got to meet. He would have lit up a cigarette and I would have had to tell him to put it out…and that may have been awkward….

Well, anyway it was nice meeting Dwayne. Even though I never got to meet him, I hope he and his 2 girls have a great life.

So I’ve been single now for about  a year and 8 months. Yes, I was involved with a young man or shall I say younger man during that year and 8 months but I’ve decided to not count that and just chuck it up as an experience.:) That story would actually be another blog topic all by itself but we won’t get into that. This is about growth and where I am at right this very moment.

Before that I was in a 15 year relationship that ended in January 2008. I loved this man very much but our season seemed to pass and so we went our separate ways. After this failed relationship of 15 years, I embarked on a serious mission to find out who I was and what I wanted out of life. It was during that time I realized that I had spent the last 15 years of my life doing things and living a lifestyle that wasn’t me. Being alone made me realize that I didn’t know much about myself. What I liked doing for fun, what I liked watching on tv, what I liked to eat or even the kind of man I wanted to spend my life with. It was then I realized that in order to receive my Mr. Right I had to find out who I was.  At first this was no easy task. But then I began to practice meditation and spending time with myself reading, praying and then it hit me. I loved being happy everyday, I loved going for longs walks in the park, I loved spending time with myself, I loved laying in bed all day watching movies, I loved eating healthy and I loved a man with dreadlocks. To me it meant he was spiritually spiritually mature. Spiritually mature? I had to find out what that really meant for me. I started to look at the traditional origins and meanings of dreadlocks and because I was born in Jamaica I instantly began studying Rastafarianism.

There are many reasons among various cultures for wearing dreadlocks. Dreads can be an expression of spiritual beliefs, a sign of ethnic pride, make a political declaration, or be simply a fashion statement. Me, I’ve been growing dreads now for over 15+ years but wearing dreads was simply my preference of a natural hairstyle and had nothing to do with my religious convictions, ethnic pride and I sure enough wasn’t making a political statement.

After several days of reading and online research, the one thing that I learned about Rasta was that dreadlocks is worn as an expression of inner spirituality. For them, the term “dread” refers to a “fear of the Lord”. I learned that Rasta is about giving the best of yourself, endless hours of love, encouragement, devotion and the only string attached is that the receiver does the same. After indulging into that information and more, I realized that I wanted to not only bring some of the Rasta teachings into my current lifestyle but I also wanted to spend my life with a partner who had the same spiritual beliefs. I don’t consider myself a Rasta nor do I plan to become one. I just believe that even though most people today choose to wear dreadlocks as a fashion preference I am still hoping to weed through my many findings of single men with dreadlocks in efforts to find my true love who may be on the same spiritual journey as I am. It is said that patience is the key to growing dreadlocks, a journey of the mind, soul and spirituality. This man will have these qualities, he will be spiritually mature and ready to receive my love.

Hence the birth of this blog!

Now, I don’t consider myself a writer so please bear with me during this blog. The words I will be writing will be in real-time and off the top of my head while I tell you my stories as I am on this journey. I am very excited to start this blog and I hope you will enjoy reading my words while sharing your experiences and advice with me.